Dick Cheney's backtrack on the Disaster from Alaska: Why it's good for society that Sarah Palin stays in the news

Ah, Sarah Palin, how we've missed you.

Not for your views on government, not for your television shows, or your ghastly ghost-written memoirs.

No, we miss you because every time we see you, we are reminded as to what a total laughingstock the Republican Party has become.

 Please--don't retire from whatever it is that you supposedly do.

Laughingstock, like Woodstock, but instead of Hendrix, the Who, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, you've got Romney, Boehner, and Palin. The very notion that any Republican could win a national election with their outwardly extremist views and cartoonish public personas is laughable.

Lobbyists may have succeeded in preventing Federal action on climate change, meaningful financial reform and instilling a progressive income tax, but when Dick Cheney is afraid to speak ill about Sarah Palin, at least we have something to laugh about.

Yes, Palin. The half-term Governor of Alaska who hasn't held elective office in some time--and most definitely won't ever again. If she were to run, George McGovern would steamroll her in a landslide.

That probably won't happen. But it's fun to see her straw-man character in the news. After all, it makes great fodder for satire. I spoke with Hal Ruzal, a legendary CBGB's rock 'n' roller who currently fronts Kilifax. He told me that his band will play his "Sarah Palin" song at his next  show on August 17th at Fontana's. The original CBGB's may be long gone, but Fontana's is in the heart of the Lower East Side, located on  Eldrige Street between Delancey and Grand. I strongly urge all fans of satire and music to attend.

Am I plugging Kilifax? Heck, I just think everyone should share the joy--the joy of mocking the disasta' from Alaska!

That's Friday, August 17th. If you've already made plans, change 'em!

In the meantime, see if you can figure out why this video didn't go viral back in 2008. Maybe it just needed better recording quality? You be the judge!

George McGovern--2012

That's right. George McGovern for President. Now.

Soldier, you country calls you yet again!!

Who cares if he'll be 90 years old on election day and currently lives part-year in sunny Florida. There are two very compelling reasons why George McGovern should run for president next year.

First of all, Barack Obama has made a terrible case for his re-election. With economic recovery on shaky grounds and no viable exit strategy from Afghanistan, he has left little room for daylight between him and his predecessor. Rather than run on his accomplishments or what he intends to do during his second term, he merely implores the public to re-elect him because he isn't crazy. That's a terrible metric for success.

Second of all, today's Republican Party is so extreme and frightening in their own policies that candidates like Mike Huckabee and Mitt Romney are deemed "too liberal" for the party base. Gallup notes that this is the first time in the history of their polling organization that no front-runner has emerged this late in the game, opening the door for a potential tea-party favorite to take the reigns. Should that happen, any Democrat--even Kucinich--would probably win in a landslide. Example: Barack Obama's approval rating is below 50 percent, and even he would defeat Sarah Palin by double digits.

Someone fix this with PhotoShop, please!

I say we take advantage of this opportunity by ending the myth of "conservative" America once and for all. Democrats have won the popular vote in four out of the last five presidential elections. McGovern and Mondale ran against popular incumbents and lost badly, and Michael Dukakis made several moronic decisions that doomed his candidacy. The Democratic Party has been scared of its own shadow ever since. What better time--and who a better person--to win the presidency and re-establish a government that actually works for the people than McGovern himself?

I say let's make this idea go viral as quickly as possible. We need a draft McGovern movement. Someone with access to FinalCutPro should put together some promo videos and post them on YouTube. McGovern may not ultimately run, but I sure would like to see his name come out on top against hypothetical opponents in public opinion polling. It would certainly send a powerful message to our flaccid leader on Pennsylvania Avenue.

Think about it: A president with the moral decency to end tax cuts for the super-wealthy and corporations, restore sanity to foreign policy, and reform our entitlement programs so that the reigns of populism are firmly rooted in the political left once and for all. If he wins, we all win! Sow how 'bout it! Tell your friends to spread the word! McGovern 2012!