The Kevin Miner Gun Challenge!

In 1980, San Diego Padres shortstop Ozzie Smith set the all-time assists record for a shortstop at 621, and won the first of 13 consecutive Gold Glove Awards.

He also hit .230, with zero home runs and .313 On Base Percentage. The following baseball season, Smith's appearance at the plate was even more dismal, logging a .222 batting average and zero home runs, with an on base percentage of .294.  To put it in non-baseball terms: pathetic. Due to animosity between Ozzie Smith's agent, Ed Gottlieb, and the San Diego Padres management, Smith found himself a St. Louis Cardinal at the start of the 1982 season.

I guarantee you nobody is taking this guy's gun away!!

At spring training, Cardinal manager Whitey Herzog saw Smith's potential as a hitter and offered the young player a deal.

"Every time you hit a fly ball," said Herzog to Smith, "you owe me a buck. Every time you hit a ground ball, I owe you a buck."

The plan worked beautifully. Smith accepted the deal, stopped trying to hit home runs, and earned $300 over the course of the 1982 season. His batting average improved to respectability, and Smith finished his career with a respectable 2,460 hits. As a Padre, Ozzie Smith's batting average was a lowly .231 As a Cardinal, Smith hit .272.

I offer a similar proposal to any law-abiding gun owner. For every day that a government official doesn't take your gun away, you owe me a buck. For every day that a government official does take your gun away, I will give you $10,000. Per gun. And yes, I am completely serious.

Why do I make this offer? Because quite frankly, less than three months after 20 mothers and fathers had their children taken away from them by a madman, a predictable group of sourpusses have sulked and complained that they are the real victims here.

Spare me. That is just wrong for so many reasons. You, a victim? Why? Because in the future, a 17 year-old with a documented history of mental illness and a criminal record might not be allowed to purchase a Tec-9, a 9 mm High Point Carbine Rifle, and two shotguns at a gun show? It's happened before. The buyer's name was Eric Harris.

So happy I could flip!

We have automotive safety laws in the country. To obtain a car, one must first take lessons from a certified instructor, pass a test, and obtain a licence. After buying a car, one must register the car and pay insurance on it, because even though cars can be useful, these cars can also be quite dangerous if not handled properly. In fact, cars themselves must meet certain safety standards from the manufacturer if they are to be sold to the general public.

Substitute the word "car" with "gun," and guess what? You're not a "victim." No one is going to take your car away and leave you defenseless against a "bad guy with a car." You will survive. You will not be, nor are you now, a victim.

But people who get shot and killed are victims. Sometimes these victims had a gun, sometimes they didn't. But the perpetrator had a gun that, all too often, was legally purchased. So take me up on this challenge. Eventually, you will learn that nobody is out to "take your gun away."

Or better yet, stop complaining.